In an attempt to convert to station access i was advised to cancel my account to remmedy a technical problem, i was granted time on it until the date it was suggested that i renew my account for station access over the 3 month recurring plan i have for MXO. Well my account expires tommorow and the truth of the matter is i don't really know if im going to re-sub.
I guess this could be a good-bye thread, but im sort of just putting it out there, i've come to realize that this place has changed a great deal from when it first started, not just management and story and depth, but also the community. Hell, even i've changed within this place - i've become so jaded and biased and aware of all the problems behind the story i used to love it becomes strenuous to stay in charachter or to not tear people apart for their mistakes. But i guess it's because i maintained misslead ideals about what the players here were entitled to, i mean i always wanted to involve myself in and enjoy a story as deep and as alluring as the matrix, i wanted to find that same feeling that i was exposed to in the first movie - but time and time again it's been proven to me my expectations of this game and sadly even the community have changed. Not to mention, it's almost physically painful to watch the first movie or any of them for that matter anymore.
I've come to terms with my realization that not only am i an elitist, i'm also an egotist. I think after my 3 years of playing here i'm entitled to a lot more then some people, i think anyone whose put time, money and effort beyond that of just a consumer of the game, beyond someone who just plays for pvp or what have you - people who are currently content - is deserving of more then they get. I think elitism is a reduced context is brilliant because it motivates people to strive to add to the game in the way of doing better and being smarter. In the elitist sense of things, morons aren't the majority at your LET meetings. But i guess once again the idea that people who take away from the matrix experience deserve less then those who add to it- is completey rediculous.
Every player needs to be treated the way right? Once again a game mechanic driven world vs. the story of a world where no one was ever spoon fed. You never get handed the answers - someone shows you the door, you put the work in. But maybe what i want in this regard is impossible, i've heard LESIG and even rarebit is trying, and i can't say they don't make the effort. I can say personally most of them don't fufill my expectations, but i'm not as hostile as i used to be - as i understand that it's harder then most people think - but i also understand it's not impossible.
People rattle on and on about how great the community here is, and to be honest i don't see it anymore - i think the community is considered good because we all interact, but if you stop and analyze the interaction i think you can really see how hostile and bitter and angry we are. And yes i'm heavily included in this, but looking over the people who two-facedly defend the game when skimming of the perks of their posistions, looking at the people who complain and roar about items of all things that don't matter, the ideology that we'd rather fight amongst ourselves for stupid prizes and completely overlooking how stupid the story gets or how much depth it looses.
People have told me perhaps i should just take a break, but i worry if i do take a break i won't come back to the game. And believe it or not part of me still wants to be here, every so often i find myself that piece of gold that travels downstream and doesn't slip through the strainer. Every now and then a moment comes that's actually enjoyable, but these moments have been comming more few and far between - and all the elements around these moments sort of just make it harder and harder to keep looking for gold as it were.
No i don't really care about cinematics, and no i'm not bothered by the idea that mobius and beta hj are given out, what bothers me in the second situation is that you can't classify that as new content, but i know somewhere someone is. And in regards to the cinematics, i'll never complain about something that can reduce the Dev workload- as long as it increases their productivity in regards to adding to the game elsewhere like in the events department.
I'm inclined to go on about Chadwick and the likelihood of improved events in the future, and even how god awful this anniversary was - but i think i'm done whining and moaning for now - i've been doing it fo so long anyways. Part of me wants to say that today will be like an observation period, like some kind of last redeaming chance, but even if today was fantastic tommorow would be what?
Chances are i'll resubscribe just becuase SWG doesn't want to work on my computer- but before i segway into the uselessness of the SOE online support i'll stop myself and wait to see if the adoring public runs to tell me how i'll be missed and if they can have my stuff.
Yes i have a shitload of goodies, and no you can't have any.
~Darminian
