Borat: Redemption
Once upon a time in 6/6/6 A.B. a guy named Borat was a very shy fellow. He didn’t know much but to but to call he sister a number one prostitute. So Borat was minding his own business walking down Merry Lane St. and suddenly out of nowhere a pack of wolves jump out from behind a bush, Borat quickly went into a fighting stance but then Dora the Explorer came to save the day!Dora said with her mighty voice, “¡Estoy de aquí salvarle Borat!”, then suddenly with no warning the wolves bite Dora’s arm and legs straight off and sliced her throat so she couldn’t talk or move again, (Narrator’s Message: Irony; Don’t Read This) then she crawled her way back up and starting running into the jungle where she belongs and as she was swinging on the vine she yelled as Tarzan would in a crazy weird way.
So now that she was out of the way, the wolves starting growling and they started going towards Borat once again and Borat starts getting scared so he ran for his life and tripped on a little pebble and then started running again! Soon as he was running he saw a open house door that he thought someone has left open, so he ran as fast as he could and he was at the door almost to safety! SLAM! He went face first right into a transparent glass window. Cleaned almost perfectly with the great product called, Windex. Finally Borat got his butt up and opened the glass door and ran through the peoples house and he found the front door and he tried to open the door but it was locked from the inside there was no way for him to get outside of the house, he was destined to die!
But then Borat heard some of the wolves yelping and squealing in unusual frequencies so Borat went to go check and see what was happening and Borat saw someone. He said, “It’s a plane, it’s a bird! No it’s Boots!!!!” As Borat jumped with glee in the air, that he was saved, Boots killed all of the wolves and saved the day! Then for some weird reason, I don’t know why but Boots started singing about how wolves are good for the environment and that they are a endangered species. Boots sings, “¡Hola, soy Botas y yo hablo español! Pero cuando estos animales pobres se mueren es un sitio horrible depresión poco apetitosa poco apetitosa. da de da de da ...... ......” But then Borat got tired of him and………………
picked him up and threw him across the street into the garbage trucks disposal. But now poor old Borat was bored and didn’t know what to do anymore.
But for some reason Borat felt like going the sea and to see someone. Who is really spongy live in the deep sea? SpongeBob Square Pants! So he goes down to say hi to his best friend SpongeBob, but very unusually a pack of fish wolves swim out from behind a kelp bush! Then SpongeBob gets pretty much mauled by the wolves and Patrick tried to come help him out and then they both die and then the wolves just fall over and go to sleep, then one burps out SpongeBob’s spine.
Then Borat makes a new friend a spider called, Charlotte the Spider, he just met her when she came to bite him on the neck to make a hole for her to lay 1000 eggs inside of the hole. But she decided to ask him how he was doing before she killed him. But then they started to talk a little bit more and Charlotte decided not to kill him, because she thought it would be very rude to do such a thing. So they were friends forever!
Then the devil comes up and says, “Come with me Borat!” but for some reason charlotte just had to say hi to the lovely guest. Then the devil says, “Ew, a bug.” Then he smashes poor charlotte. Then Borat sobbed and sobbed. But then Jesus came to bring Borat to heaven to learn the ways of Heaven combat to kill the devil for what he has done to Charlotte. Jesus brought Borat to God and God said, “Borat, I am your father”, then Borat was like “OMGosh, you serious?” God says, “Yes, I married your mom 5000 years ago and now she finally calls me and told me to meet my son so here I am meeting my long lost son.” Borat Says, “WoW!, Very Nice!” Then Borat went ahead and started his training to take down the Devil for killing Charlotte, Borats best friend.
So Borat was finally done and he was ready to fight the Devil himself so Jesus and Borat went down to earth, Jesus as his escort, to fight the Devil. Now the Devil appeared and said, “Why are we here all I asked was for you to come with me.” But nobody said a thing. Then Borat slapped the Devil in the face and the Devil fainted and poofed back into the…. Where ever he lives.
THE END