Chemuel knew of the Matrix and little else. She could see it. She watched it as it flashed in front of her. Her eyes were tired and red. Strained to slits. Her insides felt like an empty basin. There was a dam and behind this dam were dark things. Terrible things. She had to keep watching. Her hands lay dumbly across her keypad, her fingers still and stiff.
The lines of green code kept streaming down the three display screens. Chemuel could make out the war that was being waged between those endless lines. Exiles fighting. Killing. Dying. What had to be the beginning of the end. When had Chemuel slept? She had not slept. For over forty hours she had been aware. Aware of what was happening and aware of what was coming. Chemuel did not want to face it but she knew she would have to.
Chemuel dimly acknowledged that she had made her choice. She had made the choice to come back to Vanil one last time. What Chemuel was now afraid of being the last time. The dam within her buckled. It strained. It threatened to burst. To give way to what Chemuel had felt growing inside her chest for so long now; it felt like. It was cold and hard. It felt like it would swallow her whole.
The call came in. Chemuel moved mechanically. She slid the Operator's headset over her ears. "Operator," she managed. Her voice cracked. Her throat was dry.
"Chemuel," came the tinny reply. It was Vanil. "Tell Tamur4: we are going to need weapons."
Chemuel asked why. Vanil told her. "You can't, Dante," Chemuel said. "No one can do what you are going to do."
"I have no choice," Vanil explained.
"Of course you do, Dante!" Chemuel barked. "There's always a choice! Make the right one!" Her small hands gripped the chair upon which she sat. "Come back," Chemuel gushed. She did not know what she was saying anymore. She could not stop herself. "Come back and we'll go someplace. Someplace far away where they'll never find either of us. No Matrix. No Machines. No Merovingian. Nobody but us!"
There was a pause. "I've already made that choice, Dylan," Vanil finally said.
"Come back!" Chemuel cried. She felt like a broken record. Small and pitiful and antique.
"You know I can't do that, Dylan," the headset told Chemuel. "Send us those weapons."
"No," Chemuel said.
"Send them," Vanil repeated.
Chemuel's jaw clenched. Her fingers moved over the keypad. She typed out what Vanil wanted her to. "God d*mn you," Chemuel said at last. Her face was hot. "God d*mn you, Dante... Vanil... whoever you are now. Whoever you wish you were. Whoever you've become. I wish you were dead."
Chemuel felt like she had punched herself in the face. Her stomach churned. Everywhere churned.
"The Oracle told me..." Vanil began.
"What?"
"I've been dead," Vanil said. "I've been dead this whole time. Rotting in my grave. Writhing with maggots. But you, Dylan. You were the one who reminded me why we live. I have to go remember now. I have to go and remember why I am alive. I'm sorry I can't be with you. I love you."
Chemuel was only dimly aware of the moisture crawling down her cheeks.
"Tell Tamur4 to find a Hampton Green exit for us," Vanil told Chemuel. And then the line was cut. He was gone. And as far as Chemuel knew, so was everything else.
Chemuel put her face down on the keypad. And Chemuel cried. The Matrix flashed by on the three screens in front of her.
~V
