A heads up warning - this a thread dedicated to me whining about something that a majority of you either won't know or care about. If you don't want to hear it - or don't intend to at least comprehend what you read- then I'd urge you just to save yourself minutes of your life and skip this post.
So for the past two days the people that have heard about my quitting EPN have asked me what was up with it and the why - and the 20 questions nonsense. It wasn't until Alice asked me that I essentially unloaded onto her and left her like- what did I just get into - regardless of the friendly disposition she presented.
So there is a great mix of things that set me off about the other night - (the epn event which you can read about on the live events thread.) Essentially however it was just one of those things that pushed me a tad more than I was willing to put up with. So right off the bat I'll say this is going to be a tangled IC and OOC post where in which insulting anyone save for rarebit and the top dogs of running the matrix online isn't intended and I'll apologize personally if you take offense. However the things that have occurred just needed to be avoided by me - because continual interaction with such would be far too annoying and bad for my mental sanity.
Right off the bat - it's not hard for people to tell playing an EPN char isn't fun 9 times out of 10, the RP harassment and unwarranted insults as well as forced intention, bad mouthing etc. etc. makes it a rather discomforting type of game play- however as it's all supposed to be in name of the game - we let stuff slide and work past it. EPN exists as the players who play it - whether were hated or loved that's who were playing.
However - it's when people start doing things that screw us over as players- not as characters that sets me off to the point where I have to *CENSORED* about things. Right off the bat I'll take a stab at the belabored point about our ‘liasons'.
Taecross - the no good, leaking spy - drama causing cheating etc. etc. no good-nick as it were caused more *poop* for us than a lot of people realize. Especially since a majority don't know who he is. His actions were just phase 1 of Lesig *CENSORED* up royally. But the biggest irony concerning Taecross is that as much as anyone who knows about the inner workings of things here would tell you he was one of the worst liaisons around for his actions - he was and still remains the best in comparison to any other liason we had.
His attendance was crap, his tactics and response time was also lacking - but he was at least present for events, organized events for us, kept us up to date and actually stuck around long enough to develop relations with members of the EPN. So that's the conflict I've always had with him - that as much as I hated what he did - no other liason has been a fraction as good as him on our side of things.
Santia - she was introduced by Taecross- I met her the night before she was ‘officially' (I use the word extremely lightly) placed as a secondary liason to the org. I mished and we spoke barely 2 words to each other - and it certainly didn't get any better. She did two things as a liason - lead the epn into an event against the merrovingians where no one knew what we were getting into and it effectively lead to 5 EPN's not all even level 50 against an army of Mervs- the results quite obvious. So LESIG's lack of knowledge concerning the org or presence of us there- yet again screwed us to the point where we didn't have a chance.
And if you want an example of the liaisons stupidity and how we really didn't know anything about the event - she got the 5 of us (4 when I had to bail early.) to the club because it was supposed to be a party - which made even less sense - than said oh right ‘so-and-so' some lupine was there to give us intel. That's when things got worse etc. etc.
The second thing she did - was hold a briefing concerning taecross during the ‘taecross goes crazy' event. She was so stupid when it came to dealing with us as an org and a group of people - that she caused more than 50% of the EPN to walk out on her.
The kicker from that whole event was that the kid came forward and placed three ‘officers' (what a *CENSORED* joke) on probation for our actions in the whole affair. I was outraged because right off the bat and even now I defend to the end my innocence in the entire affair as I was unable to duel / fight Taecross even though I tried. I made a PM to the kid - I was surprised as hell to get a reply - and then I read it. Apparently I was lying and I had no reason to be proud of my actions..... yeah that was the first of several large straws that would break the camels back.
Outside of that probation meant absolutely nothing outside of the Kid not being around as much for events and communications - well gee - I guess everyone is guilty of that considering how long it is between events concerning him. (A little different lately but I'm getting to those.)
So then of course Santi - dropped off the face of the earth - as our liaisons seem to have this uncanny ability to do so. And we went a few months without one at all. Believe me when I tell you it's annoying then - but not nearly as annoying when it happens later. So after bitching and complaining, pm's and everything else - and being told to be patient - that LESIG is understaffed even though plenty of orgs have two liaisons - we finally get a new one Cremizi - yay! Whose *CENSORED* name alone shows how much of a *poop* anyone upstairs gives about our org.
Nothing - not one event, and barely had the brains to keep up with us. There was at least 4-5 evenings where I was jacked in and she jacked in for quite literally - 10 seconds. And Im not exaggerating for story sake - literally it would be ‘woah shes on - I'll send her a tell.' As im about to hit enter to send it - ‘Cremizi is offline.
It took me a month to finally sit down and chat with her- and I ripped her a new one about being a lazy liason who would most likely fall off the face of the earth like the others, and let us all down again. We talked for an hour or so - where in which she tried to assure me that wouldn't be the case. Fast forward a week - she's not jacked in since and it was only like 4-5 months ago Rarebit told me to be patient that ‘lesig is understaffed and were trying to find a new liason.' Yay lesig - proving to me that the players selected to do their jobs are more incompetent and lazy then the spammers I've grown to hate- hell who am I kidding they are probably the same people.
So whatever we deal with it - we have to wait for our liason - who by the by - when Cremizi did apparently exist for that 1 month - I spoke to rare like 3-4 times about how inactive she was and of course he said it was being fixed- like everything else in mxo - when there's a problem - they assure us it will go away if we stop asking.... And stop looking at it.... And stop worrying about the *poop* they still haven't fixed from god knows when.
But whatever- this and so much more is part of playing EPN - but at least we get events right. Like that event with the Code Pulse Devices. This event made me want to bash the kid's head in with a rock. Were all in place ready and waiting to be briefed by him - waiting for something - and we get a single tell message saying there are devices in two places.
Right off the bat - were is god damned org - why the name of titty-*CENSORED* jesus Christ on a bicycle would he not tell us where they were? It's pathetic enough as it was to put EPN up against the machines - cause we all know what the numbers are like - but then not only do we find out later then them there are devices -it's a *CENSORED* race to get to them. By the time any of the EPN had found the things they were defused.
And on an OOC note- what set me off here was that Rarebit didn't even *CENSORED* RP with any of the EPN's he treated them like NPC's and when they said anyting (mainly me standing over the defused bomb facing him [agent gray] - talking about the futility of the machine efforts - setting a perfect scene for the machine to crush my skull and prove machinist efficiency - he tells the mach's good job and takes off on his marry way. If I have to a lose an event - at least let me lose it - it's bad enough were all audiences to the story since were hardly ever a part of it - but I've become an audience to the failures of the people that I can't even control. And then of course- Michael falls off the side of the planet again - no words to us - no nothing - just ‘hey guys theres bombs somewhere here - gotta go.' So much for that event.
Throw on some more complaints to rare - who to me even admitted that whole god *CENSORED* event was in shambles and that ‘actions' were going to be taken to make sure those mistakes weren't repeated. Well that's really good - considering that wasn't touched on anywhere and I'd wager dollars to *CENSORED* donuts that no one said boo about it on the Lesig boards- thus showing Rare was happy to say whatever would get me off his back.
Then there was these events - these spur of the moment - no communication events. Michael shows up - says nothing new or valuable and takes us on a road trip to go and kill some NPC's - woo *CENSORED* eh! - I know that when I do a live event I want it to be like one of the 7 *CENSORED* missions I've already had to do 10, 000 god *CENSORED* times just to be where I am now. God - what a brilliant idea- Lesig so orginal - so valuable - so *CENSORED* lame. I've stopped counting the times I'd say they did something that hurt us -cause when im fuming my ability to count is usually gone.
But then - oh what I loved - I absolutely loved was the blatant demonstration that Rarebit/the kid didn't give a *poop* about his loyal followers - his org members. I get onto the mission team with him and two names- two names that don't belong attached to the EPN now - one of them ever.
Ettaric and Dezkreki - Dezreki, the guy has been an on again off again traitor whose been the cause of more jokes and **bullcrud** at the hands of the EPN organization than I can even fathom. At least 50% of the server thinks he's a moron - and the other 50% - to his own dismay - has no idea who the hell he is. He writes his god damned posts about how he wants to kill liaisons, kill the kid, work with vanil, overthrow the org and ultimately undermine it as a whole. And yet low and behold he's a top dog of it?!!? - this guy who caused more *poop* for us at the begginging of the whole affair than helped?
((again RP and OOC clash, I'll apologize if necessary. I know dezreki is just trying to spice things up with his own ‘unique' blend of RP and evil tactics - I can respect it - but quite frankly I don't feel he should be present within EPN - and couple that with not only is he in it - he's somehow got people in on every event when none of our group is told *poop* all until last minute.))
But hey - I mean he's supposed to be doing it all espionage-like so I can accept it and to be fair nothing is ever 100% though I'd still like to see it acknowledged - but then it's a game and like taecross said during dezreki's trial - it doesn't matter because he as a player has a right to be in any org. So ultimately it doesn't matter - the story doesn't matter - the events that compose the very realm we play in - don't matter. This is a recurring theme I've found on the EPN side of the fence and more over with this game as a whole.
But then Ettaric - whom in no way shape or form do I have anything against ooc, goes and makes a post quite openly explaining and stating that she kills like 50 bluepills randomly as a form of revenge against the cypherites - is on that team.
Ettaric goes and does something that EPN has been persecuted for doing on and off again - does it openly and by brute force - doesn't wake anyone up - just out and out kills them and the kid is fine with it. Everything is peachy fine - and he's an idiot and rarebit doesn't give a *poop* and it's exactly as I expected from point a.
But it gets worse. The event last night - oh my yes. We have to ‘hack the door' cause a shield is up preventing players from getting in -to enter a large building effectively with four rooms. The one were in, the one at the end of the hall and two side rooms. Now plot hole one right off the bat - we couldn't have just hacked the far door that Escondido was in - no we had to kill a bunch of NPC's who interestingly enough weren't even in our *CENSORED* way - and of course there is 100 of them all just standing in this facility doing nothing. Because that makes sense in every single light - and then the real kicker is - that once were all in once all the EPN are present - the door we came in isn't sealed, - it isn't blocked so its an EPN only event no, no - It's left wide *CENSORED* open for all of zion to show up and ‘help with our event' even though zion isn't working with us. And of course with zion comes the spam and the need for dev shields - yay. I know I went EPN so I could do events with Zionist, deal with Zionists and have Zionists crushing into every possible square inch.
Yet another dropped ball of the man ontop and that useless *CENSORED* LESIG team - oh and of course - we didn't have the ability to shoot Escondido from the open door - you know invisible walls which exist in the matrix left right and center are bulletproof.
For *messes* sakes - the room we couldn't get into had windows beside the *CENSORED* door - an idiot with a *CENSORED* baseball bat would have done a better job than 100 zionists, 10 EPN's and some super movie char.
Bra-*CENSORED*-vo.
And of course the entire time I taking shots at the kid and at the event - and I don't get so much as a reply from him - not so much as a word. Ettaric told me to stop a few times, but I was about ready to pop. So at the end of all of it - after we randomly kill a bunch of NPC's for no reason, and Zionists are everywhere - we get to walk into a room with Escondido and talk about a computer for 20 minutes - because don't you know it takes Lesig and LE Chars 20 minutes to say 5 *CENSORED* lines.
The kicker -at the end of all of it - no explanation no talk of meeting up to say anything to the org- just the patented LE good job guys - take care. /handshake 30 times to random people and then get ready to leave.
I was amazed when I got rares attention when I said I wanted to say one thing to him - I got a turn and he even looked at me - maybe he was trying to tell if demedrian was suddenly EPN or not. Because when your someone as inclined to paying attention as Rare you never make mistakes like that.
"I'm tired of your *poop* and I'm tired of this joke of an organization. If you want me to be a part of if it - you know where to find me."
And I left - the org, the faction and that building.
And a kicker - a final shot to not only my ego but to Darminian's - Not even a word was said about it on the live event thread. Perhaps it's just my ego getting in the way - but it seems to me when one of your ‘officers' leaves abruptly do to problems within the org - outside of my expectations (misplaced of course) something would have been said.
I mean it was my intention with such an action to at least stimulate something - some kind of comment, some e-mail some either insult or argument from the kid - some kind of desire on his part to keep Darminian as a part of the org that has been a joke for months running - but I was wrong. I must be crossing a line when I use logic - based on events in the past and other things. But hey - logically speaking - I should have known *poop* like this was the case from point a. My problem with this game is that it is a game - and that's no ones fault - but I think it's attempt and failure to be something more than a game as in the ‘matrix experience continued' just hurts the matrix experience.
I could go on - but affectively I'm tired, and need a drink. So yeah now I'm just floating around again at that familiar point where in which I see no side to belong to - EPN worked up until I realized it's useless - but then maybe every side is useless since I've left to avoid problems that I see kid as responsible for - when ultimately it's the people behind the characters that remain the same - thus the problems would to - wouldn't they.
I don't know - I can definitely see this leading to Darminian Hiatus time - because staying might just make me more angry or upset over *poop* that won't ever be the way I think it should.
You can't make everyone happy - I know this - but if your one of those people who isn't made happy - maybe it's good if you don't stick around.
Through this ordeal and experience I've realized why I stayed with this cause, and since he's not around for the time being - there's been little to no pull behind this cause - especially because he was the one who I'd vent to when *poop* like this happened - but hey who knows - maybe like the last 4-5 times I'll just end up back in epn (no I never left and came back I just stayed when I wanted to go.) and suppress my desire to mutany.
Darminian
