After my break, I've come to a decision...

..that this game just isn't worth my 15$ a month.

Sorry guys, but after staying away for two weeks, I've realized that this game and this game alone has been driving me off the deep end.  My life moves better now, I'm not as stressed, I'm happier, and I'm getting on with things I should have been getting on with.

I'm not saying this is a horrible game.  This is probably one of the best MMORPGs I've ever played.  It's just it's not what it was, not what it was planned to be at the beginning...  If it was still like it was in the beginning, plus all the bug fixes and CR 2.0, I'd probably stick around.  But the fact is, I have no reason to stick around.

I've hit 50, the faction I'm apart of can function without my presence, the story has lost it's interesting qualities, my roleplaying ideas and skills are no longer required, and this community is more worried about spite than success anymore.  It seems as each day goes by, we all become more and more Merovingian at heart... and I don't mean that in a good way.  OOC and IC has become so blurred that I think some of us forget where the game ends and we begin.  That's not the way it should be, but it's the way it has seemingly become.

I hate to go off on a negative note, but I can't think of what else to say.  I'm moving on to greener pastures, and that's the truth.  I'm not even technically leaving MxO... I'm instead joining World of Warcraft with former MxO friends, because we all know it's the people that run this game - not the game itself.

To say I'm leaving forever is a lie.  I will probably be back if/when this game becomes more interesting and introduces new innovations - as it inevitably does.  So... I might be back someday.  But who can say when...

And, I'd like to leave the community with this final sentence in mind:  "We are not our characters, we are players.  We are not apart of 3 organizations, we are apart of 1 organization - The Community of the Matrix Online.  We are all people, players, and most of all, we are friends."

Au revoir.

~Lady Return

((I apologize for the format of this post.  The forums apparently borked up when I posted this, and I don't feel like editing it.  Sorry.)

I wasn't going to post a reply to this thread, but my overwhelming desire to elaborate on my original post finally persuaded me.

I wasn't going to say this in my original post.  I hinted at it,
but it's been pretty much passed over.  When I say this game is
broken, I don't mean the game mechanics are broken.  The
developers aren't idiots - they're far from it.  This game can use
a lot of cleaning, sure, but it's still fun in my eyes, and it still
holds endless possibility (as we have all noted).  This MMORPG
still has more potential than alot of games out there, and that's why
I'd like to stay.

But I have problems.  I have alot of them.  And the biggest
one is when I say this game is broken, I should really say this
community is broken.  Perhaps at the lower levels of "social-fu",
this game is great.  And for those of you who enjoy it, please,
enjoy it for as long as you can.  There's alot to find here and
there's alot of great people.  If you're not getting what I'm
getting, then avoid it like the plague.  Have alot of fun doing
whatever it is your doing, because the most important part is your
having fun and spending your money wisely.

But for every great person in this game, there seems to be a power
hungry whore.  I should know, I was one.  In some people's
eyes, I still am one.  And that's why I'm leaving.  I'm not
paying 15 bucks a month to enjoy this game.  I'm paying 15 bucks a
month to endure people talking behind my back, others hating me, barely
anyone showing up to my events, my entire faction getting trashed
simply because I'm in it, and my forum security breached and showing up
on these public boards.  Quite simply, it's a waste of 15 bucks
out of my pocket.  I should keep my money and my sanity and get
out while the getting is good.

Some people told me to go to another server and enjoy myself
there.  Well, I would, but levelling in this game is brutal
torture in my eyes.  I hate every minute of levelling.  It's
more tedious than going to a 2 hour church ceremony - even with the
critical missions.  I don't want to go through the grind again on
another server.  Even with all of my friends on this server, the
level grind was extremely painful for me.  I don't want to do it
again.  By same reasoning, I don't want to make a new character on
this server.  Once again, in my opinion, it's not worth it for
me.  It's not going to save the game for me, it's just going to
drive me nuttier.

Updates to this game may pull me back so I can explore them, but it's
not going to hold me here.  I will stay when someone patches this
community to version 2.1.

When I started playing this game, even my roleplaying "enemies" were
great people to play with.  The community, regardless of
disposition & organization, was allied together as players. 
Now around every turn for me is controversy, hatred, and dislike
because of X action I committed.  Some of them I did and I take
the blame for.  Some of them didn't involve me, but I take the
blame for it anyway.  I get to carry the burden of myself and
others.  It's not fun.  It's not a game.  It's not how
people should play, but they do.

There is no "power" here in Matrix Online.  There is only a
crapshoot of a popularity contest - which I would rather not be
involved with.  All I wanted to do was run some events, do some
RP, and just be recognized as "yeah, she's good for RP".  Some
people will say that sentence, and that makes me feel like I
accomplished something.  Many others will not, and that makes me
wonder alot more why I bother to write, invent, code websies, pay for
websites, roleplay, and stay here as a so-called "community
pillar".  I'm more of the *CENSORED* end of a joke (no thanks to some of
my own actions, but we've been there and done that) than a "community
pillar".  Community pillars are complimented for what they
do.  I get yelled at and exiled and ignored, and end up shelling
money for websites out of my pocket and wasting my time on creating
events only to have 2 people show up, and neither of them thank me for
my time, effort, and money.

But, hey, X faction can throw a party and 50+ people show up.  It
took them 10 minutes of planning and 10 minutes of asking a radio
station to advertise, and they get people.  I can spend 10+ hours
of event planning, content creation, graphic design, and farming for
prizes and get 2 people to show up.  YAY!

However, it's really really hard to get out of this crap *CENSORED* popularity
contest and still be involved in the things I'm involved with.  I
came to that conclusion about 6-7 months ago, but I thought "It's more
worth it to help others and make cool events than be brought down by
this bullcrap."  Which is what most people tell me.

However, until you endure about 6-7 months of this bullcrap, it really
really really really wears you out.  I'm finally worn out.  I
don't want to endure it anymore because the pay off isn't as great as
the detriments.  I get more flak and crap from people than I do
"Hey, thanks, that was a fun event" or "Hey, you're a good RPer".

I'm going to World of Warcraft because there I'm no one.  I'm not
known by the community, only my friends.  People don't hover
around every single word that comes out of my mouth.  People don't
stab me in the back.  I don't have to run events to keep others
entertained.  I don't have to worry about people breaching my
forums and posting what I say to my friends publically just to make me
look bad and start problems.  I don't have to worry - and that's
the bottom line.  That's why World of Warcraft is better, because
I'm a nobody and don't have to worry.  I'm paying 15 dollars a
month to have fun again.  That's a worthy payment.

In conclusion, I'm not going there because of the fantasy
atmosphere.  I'm not going there because everyone else is doing
it.  I'm not going there because BLIZZARD IS TEH ROXORS.  I'm
not going there because this game is dying.  I'm going there to
have fun being a nobody and pay 15 bucks a month to have fun instead of
paying 15 bucks a month to be downtrodden and miserable.

I'll be back when this community sorts itself out.  Which, in my
estimation, will be somewhere between 6 months and never.  Sorry
for the negativity, but I feel that perhaps I should be truthful with
how I feel, and perhaps maybe I shouldn't care about what others think
of me anymore and just go on doing what I feel like doing.  I'm
not shackled here anymore.

SP was a funny as hell, but it was funnier when people started breaking out The Hungering Cold (which was the Sword of a Thousand Truths) and others started dressing up like the shirtless knight and ran down to Goldshire and started dueling newbies with a dagger.   And, plus, the LFG channel temporarly changed over to "Let's talk about South Park" channel.

Well if you ever want to hang dear, I'm ladyreturn on Xfire, I play World of Warcraft on Lightning's Blade, and I'm very much into The Ship and Defcon, and can be found as either Seraphina or [BR] Seraphina on both of those games.  I <3 The Ship... who thought murder could be so much fun!!!  And Defcon... ah... genocide.  Lol.  Such a creepy game... but yet soooo hard and soo much tactical fun.

Oh, and before I forget, I can be found on Dystopia every once in a while.  For those who don't know, Dystopia is a mod of the Half Life 2 engine, and it's a cyberpunk version of counter-strike, with hacking and stuff.  Really cool stuff, and free as long as you have Half Life 2.