Sitting down and kicking her bare feet up she gave a long sigh. Things had just been so stressful lately. She didn't know if it was stress exactly but she had been having some pretty violent borderline moods lately. It was unlike her, at first she just couldn't stand to see other people happy and just scoffed it off or tried to ignore it. The first time it happened was when Mataru announced she was getting married to Ghostofarose. She was unsurprised and just gave crude little remarks.
At certain times during missions she had been a lot more forceful then necessary, even a little sadistic when she had to use force, secretly liking the fact she had inflicted pain into something and it reacted. She questioned herself and denied it as best she could. A little later in the Zero-One construct she had single handily held the Task Master off when I group of operatives from the machines came and attacked her and her little group. After making it out of the scuffle she had returned to her bar where she tried to relax though it proved difficult. She had on a gold scif snakeskin dress and her back was bare and rather bruised from the encounter.
A fellow faction member and friend Bhurn stopped by and gave her a massage and spoke of how she knew of self-hate and implied that Amanda had some as well. For awhile she thought on it, it might have been true, she had felt weak lately with her mood swings. Coming back to the thought now she figured it was probably true. It was hard to keep a lid on things lately, and what really scared her is the fact she didn't want to hold back anymore and wanted to kill people. It had all really started after she had saved the little puppy that she had come to name peanut.
It had really gone into overdrive earlier the same day. Mataru had been in a grumpy mood and provoked her. Trying to get her to give in too her feelings showing her pictures of her personal handy work. When Amanda saw a picture of a young pregnant woman gutted and murdered she snapped and grabbed Mataru by the neck and took out her whip and turned it into his sword form. Holding her primal thoughts of inflicting pain at Mataru clouded her judgment. Somewhere thoughts conflicted and she gave Mataru a few blows to the stomach with her knees. The facial expressions Mataru gave as she was hurt were delicious, she wanted to be hurt and Amanda knew it. For Amanda she couldn't tell if she wanted to hurt her more or kiss her.
But before she could even decide Mataru quickly and stealthily stabbed her in the stomach penetrating her soft flesh. A warm wave of liquid trickled down too her pants as Amanda yelped in response. She tried to hold back but felt Mataru take advantage of her state and jam the knife in deeper. In response she quickly Penetrated Mataru with her whip cutting four inches into her above her right breast. She remained quiet as she bled out, for some reason it felt good, like a release. They continued on till she tripped Mataru breaking there hold on each other and both scrambled away.
She had gone through her day normally after that and felt very angry after she heard Persephone made a public appearance conveniently after she left broadcast depth. She gripped the sheets over her bed at the thought of missing something interesting a little break from the BS of late. And she missed it. "Ugh." She said and tugged the sheets almost like she was in a fit.
"God *CENSORED*, I swear I'm going to kill the next person who makes me mad" She said under her breath and crossed her arms and laid back. Glancing to her left her baby brother Ash was in his crib, not asleep, but not fully awake sucking on his bottle. It had been ten months since he was born. And ten months since her mom and dad were murdered and he was saved by Return doing an emergency C-section on her pregnant mother.
"I know, your totally right Ash. I need to just chill out. But you know it's not that easy." Putting another pillow under her head she glanced back at him. "Shadow? Eh, he's been busy you know. To busy to even see his wife." She said and gripped the sheets again then let them go. It was okay, she wasn't totally alone. She still had her sister if she needed anything. Though it was nerve-wracking her husband had been endlessly busy working on ships and doing things in the real.
She slid off her bed and gently picked up Ash and held him against her as he sucked on his bottle. "You're not going to let your big sister go crazy are you?" She smiled and looked down at him. "Good to know."
At certain times during missions she had been a lot more forceful then necessary, even a little sadistic when she had to use force, secretly liking the fact she had inflicted pain into something and it reacted. She questioned herself and denied it as best she could. A little later in the Zero-One construct she had single handily held the Task Master off when I group of operatives from the machines came and attacked her and her little group. After making it out of the scuffle she had returned to her bar where she tried to relax though it proved difficult. She had on a gold scif snakeskin dress and her back was bare and rather bruised from the encounter.
A fellow faction member and friend Bhurn stopped by and gave her a massage and spoke of how she knew of self-hate and implied that Amanda had some as well. For awhile she thought on it, it might have been true, she had felt weak lately with her mood swings. Coming back to the thought now she figured it was probably true. It was hard to keep a lid on things lately, and what really scared her is the fact she didn't want to hold back anymore and wanted to kill people. It had all really started after she had saved the little puppy that she had come to name peanut.
It had really gone into overdrive earlier the same day. Mataru had been in a grumpy mood and provoked her. Trying to get her to give in too her feelings showing her pictures of her personal handy work. When Amanda saw a picture of a young pregnant woman gutted and murdered she snapped and grabbed Mataru by the neck and took out her whip and turned it into his sword form. Holding her primal thoughts of inflicting pain at Mataru clouded her judgment. Somewhere thoughts conflicted and she gave Mataru a few blows to the stomach with her knees. The facial expressions Mataru gave as she was hurt were delicious, she wanted to be hurt and Amanda knew it. For Amanda she couldn't tell if she wanted to hurt her more or kiss her.
But before she could even decide Mataru quickly and stealthily stabbed her in the stomach penetrating her soft flesh. A warm wave of liquid trickled down too her pants as Amanda yelped in response. She tried to hold back but felt Mataru take advantage of her state and jam the knife in deeper. In response she quickly Penetrated Mataru with her whip cutting four inches into her above her right breast. She remained quiet as she bled out, for some reason it felt good, like a release. They continued on till she tripped Mataru breaking there hold on each other and both scrambled away.
She had gone through her day normally after that and felt very angry after she heard Persephone made a public appearance conveniently after she left broadcast depth. She gripped the sheets over her bed at the thought of missing something interesting a little break from the BS of late. And she missed it. "Ugh." She said and tugged the sheets almost like she was in a fit.
"God *CENSORED*, I swear I'm going to kill the next person who makes me mad" She said under her breath and crossed her arms and laid back. Glancing to her left her baby brother Ash was in his crib, not asleep, but not fully awake sucking on his bottle. It had been ten months since he was born. And ten months since her mom and dad were murdered and he was saved by Return doing an emergency C-section on her pregnant mother.
"I know, your totally right Ash. I need to just chill out. But you know it's not that easy." Putting another pillow under her head she glanced back at him. "Shadow? Eh, he's been busy you know. To busy to even see his wife." She said and gripped the sheets again then let them go. It was okay, she wasn't totally alone. She still had her sister if she needed anything. Though it was nerve-wracking her husband had been endlessly busy working on ships and doing things in the real.
She slid off her bed and gently picked up Ash and held him against her as he sucked on his bottle. "You're not going to let your big sister go crazy are you?" She smiled and looked down at him. "Good to know."