"Of course I'm a redpill. You think I'm a program or something? You should have seen the look on that young lady's face when I pretended to be taken over by Agent Smith. Oh, how fun! An old man is entitled his day in the sun every once in a while.
Oh, who am I? Oh, right, right. This new voice recorded diary thing is so complex...oh, right, right.
Um, my name is Jacob Daniels, but most people keep calling me The Old Man. I have no idea why, I'm not even that old. Or at least, I don't think I'm that old. Fifty-eight is not an old age, is it? I thought not. Pish posh.
I work for...well, nobody, really. I am contracted by various computer companies, redpill, bluepill, program, exile, whatever, to find and detain viruses and other harmful gadgets that noodled their way in. I like to consider myself a Private Investigator of sorts. I find the problem, I find the root of the problem, I find the cause of the problem, and I delete it.
Who woke me? Nobody. You can be a redpill and still be plugged in. Truthfully I enjoy it this way instead of all the grime and grit of the "last human city" blah blah blah nonsense. I get all the food and energy I want. I hardly need to sleep, though I still like to find a comfy couch and just watch television into the night until I drift off into slumberland..............oh, but I digress. Of course. Pish posh.
I wasn't surprised about the whole computer simulation deal. I was actually pretty excited about it, being who I was. Does this make me a Machinist? Do I care? No! I'm as nuetral as they come, although most people demand you choose a side. Posh posh, such narrow-minded thinking. I suppose I'd go the way of the Agent people, though. They seem to have their act together more so than the big zealotry of the Zionists and their EPN counterparts, and more regal than that French man and his lot of hooligans. Those silly little masked people, though, now that's a couple of loonies. Oh, but I shan't want to start a fire, should this little audio diary fall into any hands, wrong, right, or left. Pish posh, I made myself chuckle.
Oh, but it says the battery's low. I wonder how long I've been talk--"
((This thread can be an open RP thread based on TheOldMan's adventures, or misadventures. He's another of my "secret" alts I've decided to come out with, and as such, you can never expect him to know anything about a squirrel of any such sort. And don't be scared if he calls you asking about some italian clothing store.))